Racqui - The Promise of Love
So it's Valentines Day and I'm headed to Decatur to spend the weekend with my boo. The last time Chase and I saw each other was a week ago. He came to Indianapolis to visit me for the weekend. Even though it's only been four days, it feels like an eternity. I think the bond we have is what makes our time apart seem so torturous. We actually communicate and have spent all this time for the past year and 5 months getting to really know one another. There is no pressure behind being with him. We both get to be ourselves. And we spend time doing things like traveling, shopping, going to the movies, listening to music, or just laying on the hood of his car talking while we cuddle and stare at the stars. Yet, although there is no pressure, the sexual tension in the air is super thick. I've been hinting for the past few months that I'm ready to surrender myself to him but Chase, for some reason is not having it. He keeps telling me I need to be sure. I don't know how much longer I can hold out. My mind is starting to be consumed by all thoughts of sex: will it hurt, what is it like, what if he's too big, will it be a gush of blood, will I cry, will I do it right. The list goes on and on. I think the fact that he wants me to be absolutely sure is sweet and super romantic. It makes me love him that much more. However, I have met my goal of turning 18 and I know he is the guy. So the fact that he is so strong about waiting makes me think it's some slick shit going on. As I said before, most boys don't turn down pussy. They especially don't turn down virgin pussy! I think I'm going to have to put my eyes and ears to the streets and see exactly what it is that Mr. Chase is doing when I'm away because shit just is not adding up. In the interim, he's asked what time I plan to get there and seems to be eagerly awaiting my arrival. What he doesn't know is that his twin Chelsea called me the other day and said she saw some jewelry receipts in his room. She said she couldn't tell what it was that he bought but she knows that whatever it was it must be something major for someone important because the receipt showed one item which cost like $1200 and he wasn't wearing anything knew. I kind of hate that she gave me a hint but at the same time I'm a little excited to see what's going on. Maybe I got those diamond studs I wanted out of Von Maur. Chase was notorious for buying me things that I point out days before and surprising me with them. I guess what they say is true… I'm spoiled.
I hit town around 6:45 and as usual I slid through my granny's to drop off my bags and show love to whoever was there and then I headed over to Chases's mama's house to see my other family. I can go there whether Chase is home or not. There have been plenty of times I've sat on the porch or in the kitchen and just talked with his mom or hung out with one of his sisters. Chelsea and I are pretty close too. After she used me in high school to spy on her now-babydaddy, Todd, we managed to form a pretty tight bond. I'm close with his sister Bea too. And it just so happens that she is his closest confidant, other than his twin, being that she is the closest to him and Chelsea in age. By having those two in my corner I get the scoop on everything. Actually, I'm cool with everybody but Chelsea, Bea, and Mrs. G are my dawgs. We are just cool like that. Anyways, I pull up and park on the side of the road in front of the huge two story white house trimmed in blue with the open front porch and immediately notice the Capris is gone but Chelsea's black Malibu is parked in the driveway near the porch steps. Bea is on the porch, along with their mom, Chelsea and her daughter, Raven, waiting for Mrs. G to open the door. Based on the bags they are carrying I'm assuming they just wrapped up some grocery shopping. It's a nice cold day in Decatur and the breeze is zipping through just enough to make it feel like it's colder than 40 degrees. I hop out my powder blue Mazda Protege`dressed for the weather in my dark blue fitted Levi 501's, an oversized burnt orange woven sweater with a hoodie, and my brown Coach riding boots with the matching Coach satchel purse and my dark brown Goose Down coat with the fur hoodie draped over my shoulder. I help grab the last few bags out of the car and make my way in the house to get comfortable. I hit Chase on his Sky Pager from the house phone to let him know I was at the house. He pulled up about 15 minutes later with a grin on his face that immediately made me suspicious. I knew he was up to something, thanks to Chelsea, but I didn't know what and I was dying inside. He walks up to me and gives me the most tender hug and a sweet kiss on the forehead. He had this bad habit of running one of his hands up the nape of my neck and rubbing my hair or grasping a small handful with just enough intensity to set off fireworks when we kissed or hugged. Between that and the forehead kiss I was puddy in his hands. As usual, Chelsea was a hater and yelled "GET A ROOM!!" after catching the tail end of our affectionate exchange. Chase and I both just chuckled and shook our head.
When Chase grabs my hand and leads me towards his bedroom I begin to feel butterflies flutter in my stomach. I know something major is about to happen, I don't know what, but I know it's something. The thing is, I can't let him know that Chelsea gave me the scoop on the jewelry purchase or it will crush him and they'll end up fighting. So I have to pretend to be totally surprised. Like I said, I'm dying in side. The first thing he does is turn on the stereo. He put on one of our favorite songs by Usher, "The Many Ways". Normally, he left he door open as required by his mother but today was different. He closed the door and turned off the lights so that only the daylight from outside lit the room. He came over and kissed me slowly. In between breath's he asked me questions like "How much do you love me?" and "Are you sure you are ready for this?", The kiss was so tender and so sensual. At the same time our eyes were locked onto one another. If either of us blinked I don't think we knew it. Shortly into the mesmerizing tantric kiss the clothes burning began. It would be the first time that we would exchange a rhythmic horizontal dance ever since we've been together. Before he would always stop it before it started. So as one would imagine, I'm about to fucking explode right now while I think to myself "This is it! Right here, right now, with his mama and half of his family in the next room". Just as that thought crossed my mind he stopped and said, I just wanted to make sure you were really ready. He said when we make love for the first time it will be right and it won't be in a bedroom at his mama's house because then we can't be free in our experience. My first thought was "Dammit!!". My second was, "I'd be so embarrassed walking out of here thinking they all know that I am no longer a virgin!". I got up, grabbed his brush and proceeded to fix my ponytail when he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to his lap. There was this look in his eye. A look I had never seen before… like a nervous type of look. This must be the moment that I find out what this jewelry purchase is all about. I place my arm around his shoulder and face him to give my undivided attention. He looks me in my eyes and tells me how much he loves me and how when he thinks of me he can't imagine a day without me in his life. He loves the way he feels around me, he loves the fact that my family loves him and his loves me. He enjoys the late night phone calls and the road trips we spend talking about our future or just catching up from the time we miss while I'm in Indy and he's in Decatur. He then asks if I still want him to move to Indy so that we can get a place together. I answer yes with tears in my eyes. He asks me can I see myself with him forever. I answer yes again, tears flowing now. He asks me if I'm ready for a true commitment of monogamy and loyalty and if I was willing to wear a symbol of that commitment. As I say yes, this time with a face full of tears, he pulls out a small black velvet jewelry box and pops it open, revealing a gorgeous 3 carat princess cut solitaire diamond ring. He grabs my hand and asks me to be his one and only lady by accepting this promise ring as a testament of our love and commitment to one another. Without hesitation I say yes and proceed to kiss him; my heart is overjoyed and overwhelmed with what just transpired. He quickly stops me to tell me there is more. He pulls out a long black velvet box and says when he was shopping for the ring he was drawn to another piece that was so beautiful, and because not buying the ring was not an option, he had to buy it too. He opened the box and inside was the most beautiful 3 carat white gold and diamond tennis bracelet. It was flawless. The bracelet was my valentines gift and the promise ring was his confirmation of me as his gift. I was so elated. I think there was a moment or two where my breath was taken away. To be 18 yet so romantic and considerate and confident… it was just the most secure feeling. As I admired the ring sparkled on my right ring finger and the bracelet that now shimmered on my left wrist Chase grabbed my face and told me that he loved me. He also reassured me that the moment for us to make love would be soon. He reminded me that he knew how important it was for it to be a special and memorable moment for me and that is what he intended to give me. He suggested I start looking for an apartment because he would be ready to move by the summer which was only 3 months away. I felt like I was living in a fantasy land. I was prepared to be asked for my hand in marriage. Even though I feel like I'm too young for marriage I was prepared to say yes, only because I know this is my prince. At the same time, I am relieved that he chose to solidify our relationship with a promise ring first. It gives us both time to live our lives as young adults but still be committed to one another until we are ready for the next step.
As I agree with his suggestion we exchange a sensual kiss once more and then decide to head out to get something to eat. As soon as I open the door Chelsea comes flying around the corner trying to figure out what I got from the jewelry store. I didn't tell her. I let her look me over and figure it out. The first thing she went for was my left ring finger. She totally missed the bracelet. She looked at my right hand and started cheesing like it was for her. Finally realizing the bracelet she whispers to me "He really loves you because he's never bought any girl any kind of jewelry before except me and mama!". I felt even more special at that moment. I began to soak up the fact that I was officially committed to Mr. Chase Glliam. The females in Decatur are really going to hate me now. Just as I started to chuckle about that thought Chase emerged from the room and scolded Chelsea for being nosey. For embarrassing her she yelled and told Ms. G that the bedroom door had been closed, in an attempt to get Chase in trouble. Ms. G kindly reminded Chase of expectations in her thick West Indian accent and moved on. As Chelsea began her tantrum about how Chase never gets in trouble but if that had been her and Todd her mother would begin to beat her, Chase and I walked out of the house hand and hand. We were both on cloud 20 and Chelsea was not allowed to steal that moment, not today!
